April 26, 2023
Self-Care to a Better Life
We’ve all been there, on a Saturday night, sitting on the living room couch thinking, “Welp, the week has gone by. Just a few more days and we do it all over again.” It’s the same ‘ol same. It’s work, home, dinner, sleep, rinse repeat.
Sure, there might be a date night here and there. Your sister’s invitation to a girl’s day at the bar is sitting on “read.” And yes, being your children’s chauffeur to basketball games and dance recitals is… so much fun.
But you want to love your life.
Even if the date nights your significant other has scheduled are great, and you enjoy every play your kids put on, and girls’ days out are always lit, this isn’t what you need right now to light you up. So how do you roll out of bed every morning with a hop-skip and jump in your step knowing it’s gonna be a great day?
You take the steps to live a life you love.
As in, go on a walk, sing in the shower, join a bowling league, and feel the power of knocking a few pins down or getting a strike or two. We all know it’s important to move your body, but the how is way, way more important. Because if you love going to the gym to pound out a two-hour weight-lifting binge, that’s great. But it’s just as great if you’re more of the take a stroll down Main Street to window shop for a few bags and dresses. So dance, do yoga, and stretch your muscles while you walk the block. Find what it is that your body loves to do, and make it a habit to do just that.
You know that friend you’ve had for what seems like forever? You can remember the moment the two of you met way back when. She smiled, you smiled back, and the two of you have been inseparable since. Until you both reached adulthood. And life took over. And now it’s more like you’re “Facebook friends” and you’re not even on Facebook anymore. But you know if you were to call her up, she’d answer. If you asked her to listen, she’d drop it all.
Because you’d do the same for her. If she needed you to go across the country to take her away from whatever’s going on in life, you’d book a plane ticket without a second thought. Maybe it’s time to be more than Facebook friends. Maybe it’s time to get together once a month. Go ahead, call her up. Life is way too short to spend on friendships that don’t fill you up. These are the friendships you want to nurture and love. Because you love the person it’s with and who you are with them.
I don’t care if that happy place is the beach on the coast, the coffee shop down the street, or even locked in your bedroom where no one in your house can hover over your shoulder asking for a snack, a drink, or a back rub. Oftentimes, we feel like we have to always physically show up in places that don’t make us happy. It’s good to reset our mentality by forcing ourselves to take a break and visit the places we really love. There’s just something about inserting yourself in your happy place. It literally feels like a weight off your shoulders. It helps provide clarity. It removes the stress of work and responsibilities just
for a moment, so you can come back to those responsibilities with a little less mind-noise.
Look, I’m not the fashion police. I’m not going to tell you what the latest fashion trends are, or what’s no longer trending. That’s not my job in the world, and I imagine it’s exhausting for whosoever job it is. I’ve heard too many women say “I can’t wear that” while pointing to a crop top, skinny jeans, or a dress that’s hitting right above the knee. My question is: why not? If the reason is that you’re not comfortable in it, then that’s fine. Then that’s not the clothes for you. But if you’re comfortable in it, you’re just worried other people won’t be comfortable seeing you in it… then sis, it’s time to throw on what you like. Take this as one step away from allowing other people’s opinions to determine how you show up.
Because showing up in something you love to wear will help give you the confidence to show up
Yes, the big wins… but also the small ones! Too often, we set goals for ourselves, hit that goal, and then we’re off running to the next one without taking a second to verbally pat ourselves on the back for what we just accomplished. And when we do take a moment to celebrate, it’s usually the big things, something that took a thousand small steps to get to.
But what about each of those small steps? They’re wins too! Without putting one foot in front of the other, you wouldn’t have accomplished the big goals you set for yourself. Celebrate those, too. Even if some days it is that you rolled out of bed when you didn’t feel like doing so.
I don’t know about you, but when I was working a job I didn’t love and came home just to do the chores I didn’t love… only to wake up the next day to do it all again on repeat… I wasn’t exactly loving life. Not that I was overly unhappy – but there was no zing. No pizazz. Nothing that made me want to jump out of bed, just excited to fill my day with my passion.
If you don’t know what that passion is, this is your permission to explore. Take guitar lessons, volunteer with a charity, and start writing the book you thought you might like to write. Your passion is waiting for you. And when you find it, it’ll be a kickstart to loving more of your life.
We all have our gifts that we sometimes sit on, waiting for the “right” opportunity to share with our teams, friends, or family. Usually, it’s something that comes easy to us. You might not even see yours as a gift, just what makes sense. Here’s the thing: Just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s common for others. Share it. Even if it feels silly or crazy or like other people are going to roll their eyes. Because sharing what you love will give the universe a little clue of what else to bring to you.
Take a moment to analyze what’s going on in your life. Naturally, it’s probably pretty easy to figure out what you don’t love. You know… the eight loads of laundry every weekend, the never- ending cleaning that goes into maintaining a clean home, the one light on your car dash that won’t go away. I get it.
But take the pieces you do love. Saturday morning snuggles. The look on your clients’ faces when you finally solve their problem. The way a warm cup of tea makes you feel better. Amplify all of it. Extend Saturday mornings for another hour. Ask if you can be even more hands-on with scheduled client events. Buy yourself an office tea maker so you can always have a cup, no matter what.
Then, do some problem-solving and outsourcing. Ask your partner to do a few loads of laundry during the week so it doesn’t pile up. Hire a housekeeper to give your home a deep cleaning once a month to free up some much-needed “you time.” Finally, drop that car off and figure out why that light is on in the first place. Or, at the very least, get those pretty nails dirty and take a look under the hood. (Just kidding. Maybe.)
Take a step back and realize that you have the power to take all of what you love and put it into action. You can make the shifts, ask the requests, and speak up where you can to create the life you love to live.
The Common Thread to Self-Care That Can Be Most Impactful in Life
I’m willing to bet you saw the common thread in the above tips. Living a life you love has nothing to do with what others say, think, or do.
It’s all within you.
So go ahead, focus on what you love, and create a plan that amplifies all of it. So you can create a life you love to live!
And if you don’t know where to start? Good news. That’s why I’m here. Go ahead and schedule a call so we can jump-start your self-improvement plan to the greatest version of you now!
I am a transformational and self-discipline coach for professional women. Helping you build habits and mindsets to achieve your goals.
hey I'm Teniqua,