I want you to realize that to get where you want from where you are now isn’t rocket science. It’s
manifestation. And it’s completely accessible as long as you’re willing to show up for yourself and do the work.
You show up everywhere else in your life. Your career, your family, your friendships. Now is the time you show up for you, even more committed than when you are showing up for everyone and everything else.
manifest a Life You Love
I found me, with the discipline to start anew.
I walked away cold turkey from those people. I started exercising and passed up the french fries for salads knowing it was better for me. I joined a church and prayed to God and found… me.
I found me with the discipline to create healthy habits. I found me with the discipline to make better choices to make myself healthier all around.
I found my unique recipe that allowed me to create the life I wanted. With a man who really IS my person. With a home that really is big enough to allow my son a space to play, learn and grow. With a career that really is one of my dreams (not just the one that pays well). With a life I’m happy with.
Is it always easy? No. Life is full of surprises and difficulties and all kinds of hurdles.
Is it possible? Definitely. I’m living proof that creating a recipe for success is a real thing, and executing that recipe is life changing. I know you can find your recipe, too.
As a single mother with one toxic relationship after another, surviving is what I had to do. One particular relationship had me mistakenly head over heels with who I thought was my person for the better part of three years.
For three years, I spent my time with this man, standing by his side when he needed it, paying for his lunches, allowing him complete access to me, my car, and my home while forgiving him for one indiscretion after another. I was there to offer my heart through all of his ups and downs, including the passing of his mother. I was there, because that’s who I’m programmed to be.
(Sometimes it feels like that’s how all us women are programed to be, doesn’t it?)
And then I found out this man was seeing another woman. And then she found out about me.
All of a sudden, I was the bad guy in all of this. I was big bugging for even thinking I was with him. I was a fling, a nobody, just a piece of his past that he didn’t want to admit was a piece of him at all. These two people antagonized me. I found myself in a weird Facebook triangle where they were both after me, my heart, and quite literally my blood. I could have easily pointed a finger at these two and said “They’re the problem.” And quite honestly, I know I’d be justified in doing so. But inside of pointing a finger outward, I looked inward. And I had to ask myself “What made me not see the person that was in front of me?”
Now, I’m not saying I’m to blame for his (or her) actions. That’s on them. But I chose to be with him. And the other a-holes before him and after him. I eventually came to the realization that the common denominator was me, and I needed to figure out how to create a mindset where I wasn’t making the same choices over and over.
Let me get one thing very clear: My job as a coach isn’t to hand over the answers like some magician with a rabbit in a hat. I’m not Houdini, and I don’t own a magic wand. There’s no way for me to tell you exactly what the answers are.
But the answers are within you. It’s my job as your coach to help you see them. And if I’m pulling anything out, it’s the truth that’s within yourself, not some rabbit in a hat. The thing is that everyone has their own recipe for success, because there isn’t another person in the world who has your experiences, your goals, or the drive to do what you want to do in the same way. So while I might have needed a little extra salt and cheddar in my recipe to find joy, you might need some hot sauce. Or sugar. Or maybe a little crab meat on top. It doesn't matter, because yours is completely unique to you.
I want you to see that your recipe for success is something that you’ll find within your own act of discipline. Sure, I’ll give you the tools. I’ll give you the exercises. I’ll give you the push when you need it and the support always. I’ll show up as your coach and do my job. I just need you to do yours.
I need you to do the self-work to find the recipe that works for you.
In addition to providing coaching services to clients at My Recipe My Therapy, Teniqua also serves at StandUp-SpeakOut of North Carolina - Domestic Violence, Nonprofit (susonc.org) as a Resilience & Self-Discipline Coach. Stand Up Speak Out NC is a non-profit agency that provides direct care and outreach advocacy services for families, child survivors, and witnesses of sexual assault and domestic violence through advocacy, prevention training, group therapy, mentoring and a fundamental concept for survivors called Healing Thru Art.
Teniqua provides one-on-one coaching for the direct care clients at SUSO NC, and she also takes her coaching skills out on the trail as a co-facilitator during Hike 2 Connect (SUSO NC in partnership with Tai Connects Speaker - Tai Caldwell — Write. Speak. Inspire.™ (writespeakinspire.com).
Additionally, Teniqua serves as a co-facilitator of SUSO NC Circle of Hope for Youth group alongside Tai Caldwell Speaker - Tai Caldwell — Write. Speak. Inspire.™ (writespeakinspire.com), and SUSO NC Youth Empowerment Programs, where she works with youth to increase their mental, physical, and emotional stabilization and guides them in how to feel confident and gain independence.
- A. Winston
"Over the past decade, it has been an honor to watch Teniqua excel in multiple roles, both personally and professionally, and persevere through every challenge that has come her way. She is extremely warm, welcoming, and personable. She is also trustworthy, encouraging, and highly insightful. Along her journey, she has curated the perfect balance of soft skills with concrete tools, processes, and plans of action for success and growth, in both her life and the lives of those she encounters. I am so fortunate to have a front-row seat in her life as she continues to walk in her purpose and empower others to do the same. As a close friend and life coach, she provides exceptional value and is worth her weight in gold. Working with Teniqua is a life-changing experience, and you will forever be impacted for the better."